Fashion and Faith and Values

By: Jacques Berlinerblau

December 13, 2007

Precious little was said about Faith and Values during last night’s Republican Presidential Candidates Debate held in Johnston Iowa. Mike Huckabee cited Matthew 25:40 (It wasn’t his first time and it won’t be his last). The former governor of Arkansas also insisted that faith must drive a politician’s judgment and value system. A clear sign, indubitably, that he: 1) does not share John Kerry’s concerns about candidates wearing their faith on their sleeves, and, 2) can be expected to thump the Bible hard in the coming weeks. Then there was Alan Keyes. When he wasn’t chastising the moderator (and others) he reminded us that the Constitution is subservient to the Creator. Not an uninteresting formulation, actually. Article II, Section 1 demands that a president must “preserve, protect and defend” the Constitution. Call me a talmudist, if you must, but Keyes raises a good theoretical question: if God Himself were to come down to earth and wreak havoc with our cherished constitutional liberties would an American president be obliged to take Him on? Aside from that, there was little God Talk at last night’s encounter. The proceedings were civil and sedate, though not overwhelmingly substantive. And this is where my post would conclude had not my wife--a New York fashion stylist currently living in exile--wandered into the room. Her impromptu comments on the sartorial strengths and weaknesses of the men assembled on stage livened up an otherwise dull evening. Our shared observations are noted below:

Mitt Romney: Perhaps I inadvertently inserted a measure of bias into our analysis by exclaiming "Damn, Mitt looks fine!" prior to soliciting her views. But Mrs. Berlinerblau, uncharacteristically, concurred with my opinion. The former governor of Massachusetts donned an absolutely immaculately tailored suit, one that accentuated his perfect posture. The Marcello Mastroianni of the CEO set. Grade: A

John McCain: Fabulous. At least by Republican standards. Many other candidates wore a uniform. But the senator had himself an outfit. Grade: A-

Fred Thompson: Snazzy, thy name is Fred Thompson! Quite the dandy last night. Jazziest tie on stage (and conceivably in the entire state of Iowa).Grade: B+

Rudy Giuliani: His well-cut, stylish jacket was cruelly suicided by a generic red and blue cravatte. The French cuffs were much appreciated, however. Grade: B

Alan Keyes: The only candidate who bothered to accessorize. Seemed to be wearing some sort of gold chain. Assuming that his chain was affixed to a religious icon, he should have an editorial spread in some Italian fashion magazine by sundown. Grade: B-

Mike Huckabee: Is maintaining a gap of at least six inches between one's collar and the back of one's neck some sort of Arkansas state law? Grade: C

Rep. Ron Paul: Made a strong door-to-door-insurance-salesman statement. The tie came from Sears, no? Grade: C

Rep. Tom Tancredo and Rep. Duncan Hunter: Both made a convincing case for the necessity of a taxpayer-funded House stylist. Grade: C-

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