A Discussion with Anne, Caregiver, Nyumbani Center, Nairobi, Kenya
With: Anne Berkley Center Profile
June 11, 2016
Background: As part of the Education and Social Justice fellowship project, undergraduate student Khaliyah Legette interviewed Anne, a caregiver known as a “mum” at Nyumbani Center in Nairobi, Kenya, which is part of a family of programs providing services to children and families affected by HIV/AIDS in Kenya. In this interview, conducted in June 2016, Anne discusses the myriad challenges, joys, and successes of caring for and nurturing her HIV-positive charges.
What is your name, and what do you do at Nyumbani?
My name is Anne, and my role is to take care of the children.
What are your roles as a "mum" here?
My role is to take care of the children nutritionally, psychosocially, support, and discipline. Overall, holistically...I just take care of the children, their well-being.
What is a typical day like here?
In the morning we wake up, they take a bath, go and take our breakfast, then we send the older ones off to school, and then the younger ones remain. We have a chit-chat, and they play around until 8:30 a.m.; then they go to school. Then, when I remain behind, I have to do the laundry, make sure the house is clean, make sure you’ve taken their lunch boxes to the kitchen—stuff you can do when they’re not around, like mend their clothes and check their homework. Sometimes you have to do school visits, and sometimes counsel the older ones. Sometimes the older ones just pop in. I’ve stayed here for long, so you build a relationship, where they can open up to you—a bit of counseling, here and there.
How long have you been here?
This is my eighteenth year. The girls that you see here, they came when they were babies. So we’ve grown together.
What are some of the most challenging parts of your role?
The most challenging is when they are sick, and when they refuse to take medication. That’s the most challenging part here. And then they grow the resistance, you know? Some of them, they take the medications, but somehow their bodies resist the medication. It doesn’t happen very often—a few cases here and there. Of course, when they become teenagers, rebellion, wanting to know their background, wanting to know their identities...so many issues. You know when they become teenagers they want to start projecting, so that’s some of the challenges we have.
Most of them know we are not their moms, so sometimes it becomes hard because the way you can treat your own child is not the way you can treat these ones, because they are vulnerable. And you also have regulations how you go about it, so those are the challenging parts.
What is the most rewarding part about your role?
The most rewarding part is seeing them healthy, seeing that smile on their faces. Seeing them come—because when they come they are maltreated—they are so emotionally traumatized, so when you see them coming out of that cocoon and becoming more normal, and when they become big they move out to the hostels, going to school and doing things on their own—that’s really rewarding for me. And seeing them go off to college, coming back to say hi...at least you feel fulfilled because you know you’ve done something that has made them be better people from when they came here.
What inspired you to take this position?
Initially, I wanted to become a nurse, but I didn’t get a job, so when the place opened, my sister happened to bump into a friend of Father [Angelo] D’Agostino, so she hooked me up here. So I feel I fulfilled part of what I originally wanted because I am nursing the children, nurturing them. So in a way, I got what I wanted, although it’s not exactly what I wanted, but partly. Nurturing these kids makes me very happy.
Considering the children are not your own, how do you discipline them?
It depends with the age, and the personality. So the younger ones, you just put them in time-out. Or you tell them no TV, and when there’s an outing you tell them they’re not going to the outing. And if it’s beyond me, you just report to the social worker.
What is the best part about this position? What is it that keeps you here?
First, it’s the children. They need to have the identity of a mother, and whatever I get from that, it fulfills me. Nyumbani has really taken very good care of us. I say this because I’ve done so many things. I’ve been able to even help my relatives financially with the support we have here. We’ve also had opportunities to go abroad. I usually tell the older ones: “It’s because of you I’ve been able to do all these things.” That’s why I try to give my all, you know? So one day when they grow older they will eventually give back.
My name is Anne, and my role is to take care of the children.
What are your roles as a "mum" here?
My role is to take care of the children nutritionally, psychosocially, support, and discipline. Overall, holistically...I just take care of the children, their well-being.
What is a typical day like here?
In the morning we wake up, they take a bath, go and take our breakfast, then we send the older ones off to school, and then the younger ones remain. We have a chit-chat, and they play around until 8:30 a.m.; then they go to school. Then, when I remain behind, I have to do the laundry, make sure the house is clean, make sure you’ve taken their lunch boxes to the kitchen—stuff you can do when they’re not around, like mend their clothes and check their homework. Sometimes you have to do school visits, and sometimes counsel the older ones. Sometimes the older ones just pop in. I’ve stayed here for long, so you build a relationship, where they can open up to you—a bit of counseling, here and there.
How long have you been here?
This is my eighteenth year. The girls that you see here, they came when they were babies. So we’ve grown together.
What are some of the most challenging parts of your role?
The most challenging is when they are sick, and when they refuse to take medication. That’s the most challenging part here. And then they grow the resistance, you know? Some of them, they take the medications, but somehow their bodies resist the medication. It doesn’t happen very often—a few cases here and there. Of course, when they become teenagers, rebellion, wanting to know their background, wanting to know their identities...so many issues. You know when they become teenagers they want to start projecting, so that’s some of the challenges we have.
Most of them know we are not their moms, so sometimes it becomes hard because the way you can treat your own child is not the way you can treat these ones, because they are vulnerable. And you also have regulations how you go about it, so those are the challenging parts.
What is the most rewarding part about your role?
The most rewarding part is seeing them healthy, seeing that smile on their faces. Seeing them come—because when they come they are maltreated—they are so emotionally traumatized, so when you see them coming out of that cocoon and becoming more normal, and when they become big they move out to the hostels, going to school and doing things on their own—that’s really rewarding for me. And seeing them go off to college, coming back to say hi...at least you feel fulfilled because you know you’ve done something that has made them be better people from when they came here.
What inspired you to take this position?
Initially, I wanted to become a nurse, but I didn’t get a job, so when the place opened, my sister happened to bump into a friend of Father [Angelo] D’Agostino, so she hooked me up here. So I feel I fulfilled part of what I originally wanted because I am nursing the children, nurturing them. So in a way, I got what I wanted, although it’s not exactly what I wanted, but partly. Nurturing these kids makes me very happy.
Considering the children are not your own, how do you discipline them?
It depends with the age, and the personality. So the younger ones, you just put them in time-out. Or you tell them no TV, and when there’s an outing you tell them they’re not going to the outing. And if it’s beyond me, you just report to the social worker.
What is the best part about this position? What is it that keeps you here?
First, it’s the children. They need to have the identity of a mother, and whatever I get from that, it fulfills me. Nyumbani has really taken very good care of us. I say this because I’ve done so many things. I’ve been able to even help my relatives financially with the support we have here. We’ve also had opportunities to go abroad. I usually tell the older ones: “It’s because of you I’ve been able to do all these things.” That’s why I try to give my all, you know? So one day when they grow older they will eventually give back.
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