Berkley Center

Upon my arrival in France, I was more afraid of doing something impolite than anything else. The French have always been known to be on the colder, unwelcoming side, but a less well-known fact is that they take their manners very seriously, and slip-ups are not nearly as easily forgiven as they are in the United States. There were many things that we were warned against before coming to France, such as not showering every day to respect the water bill and not wasting water. We were also warned against having our hands under the table, sneezing, and raiding the refrigerator. We were warned against salting our food before tasting it or refusing to try something. Upon our arrival we were strictly warned to always appropriately address professors and host mothers in the proper second person form of verbs. This was a lot to remember, and thus I was not only thinking about what I was going to say and how to say it, but I was also thinking about what I was going to do and how to do it.

However, I was very surprised by what manners the French value. Some of our warnings were correct. If the water runs for more than 10 seconds my French host mother yells, "Pay attention to the running water!" and that means that we need to turn it off. However, my host mom and French friends take showers every day, if not twice. It is also rare to find dryers in the homes of host families, and my host mom doesn't like me using hers because it wastes energy. The French are very environmentally conscious; they never throw food away, and they always shut off the lights and water. French toilets have less water in them, and it is rare to find paper towels in a bathroom. Even in school there are automatic lights that turn off when no one is in the room. Anything violating these rules, such as using too many paper towels or wasting water or energy, is considered rude.

On the other hand, there are many things that I, as an American, would consider rude that the French don't think twice about. The French certainly give their frank opinions without sugarcoating anything. For example, after an oral presentation my French professor announced to the class that that was exactly what she didn't want us to do, and that it was a terrible presentation. My French host mom also told my Colombian roommate that she didn't like Colombians because they weren't trustworthy. This was not only surprising, but rude. French students also have no respect for their professors. In France, it is not expected that you have any relationship with your professor, but I was informed that you must always show respect. Nevertheless, French students speak loudly while the professor is speaking or while another classmate is giving an oral presentation. I find this unacceptably rude and would not be able to stand this if we did this in America. Also, for as many rules as the French have about eating, they never wait for everyone to be served before starting to eat.

My interactions with French people have confirmed my prejudices and the warnings I was given before arriving. However it also taught me that we are not as rude as the French consider us, and in fact have different manners than the French. They might not consider us so, but I truly believe that we have just as many—if not more—manners and respect for others as the French. I in fact prefer to have manners such as considering the feelings of others instead of keeping my hands above the table at all times.