Finding a place or a group of people that feels like home is so important, both at Georgetown and during study abroad. For me, the women’s rugby team filled that role when I first arrived on campus two years ago. When I arrived at the University of Botswana (UB), I felt a little lost again, especially since with 20,000 undergraduates, UB is several times larger than Georgetown. Luckily, UB also has a women’s rugby team, and I was infinitely thankful to find my home here amongst a group of amazing, strong Motswana ruggers.
There are certain challenges unique to playing rugby in a foreign country. The language on the pitch (and in our team texting group chats) is unequivocally Setswana, so I rarely know what’s going on during drills or during gameplay. I learned to my surprise partway through the season that being a UB student was in no way a prerequisite to play on the UB team, and most of my teammates never attended the university. The men’s and women’s teams also practice together, in contrast to my team in D.C., and we play touch on mixed-gender teams. Beyond these differences, though, the UB Rhinos are very similar to my team at home; we support each other, go out together, celebrate wins after games, and exercise together. I’m so grateful that rugby gave me a family in Gaborone, as confusing and difficult to understand as it may be.
Beyond the rugby context, family functions differently here than my family in the United States. I rarely see my extended family at home, only occasionally making the long journey to visit grandparents or cousins. Here, most people’s entire extended family lives together in their home village. I made the mistake, several times, of asking friends if they were from Gaborone. They all laughed at me. “Nobody’s ‘from’ Gabs,” they explained. Everyone is instead from their home village, where their grandparents and uncles and aunts remain—even if their actual nuclear family has been living in Gabs since they were a child. Several of my friends at school have children, who often go back to the home village to live with their grandmothers (my friends’ mothers) until their parents finish school. Aunts and uncles may not be true aunts and uncles, but close family friends or neighbors who helped raise the children. A few people have asked me in confusion about homelessness in the United States. Here, homelessness is virtually non-existent; in times of need, an extended family member will always take you in, no matter how tenuous the relation.
Although the size of the family support system is amazing, living in Gabs while the family is in the home village can cause undue pressure. Botswana built itself on the wealth of its diamond and coal mines, and as these mines dry up, job opportunities trickle away. Unemployment is staggeringly high—youth unemployment in particular hovers around 50 percent. Many of my classmates express frustration at getting a degree, only to be faced with an impenetrable job market. Often, getting hired has more to do with who you know than what you know. Nonetheless, some of my friends who have already graduated and are unable to find work face expectations from their families at home that they send money every month. They are living in “the city,” so they must be making money—never mind that finding and holding a job is a herculean feat. For graduates from poorer, rural families, expectations that they support an immense extended family during their rise to success can be intense.
Despite the occasional financial pressures of an expansive, close-knit family, the way family works in Botswana is one of my favorite things about this country. Weddings and funerals are my favorite example. Weddings are a two-weekend affair: one Saturday, they occur in the bride’s home village, and the next Saturday, they occur again in the groom’s. Since they tend to take place in the village kgotla (the traditional home of the chief and town center), it’s impossible to keep anyone away. The first time a friend invited me to his uncle’s weddings, I was worried that I hadn’t RSVP’d—or even met the bride or groom. I quickly realized that details like knowing anyone in the wedding party are completely irrelevant. Both weddings and funerals are fabulous parties, and anyone is welcome.
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