Berkley Center

I hear women blurt this phrase on the streets of Amman from time to time, and I have become one of them. We use it to assert ourselves against some of the men in Amman. Many of them often stare or call out names, or laugh as we walk down the street, and our only line of defense is to hurl phrases such as “Haraam aleyak” back. Most of the time, it works. By this, I mean they will leave you alone, but go on to harass the next woman who walks by. More often than not, these women are not Jordanian (though they get harassed as well). Foreigners attract attention because of their unfamiliar traits, whether it's their light hair or dark skin. Whatever it may be, men of all ages in Amman feel no shame in hurling obscenities at women, as we pretend not to listen.

At first, I was curious about what they were shouting. Are they (relatively) positive calls or are they insults? Does it have to do with general appearance or are particular attributes targeted? While some of these are harmless—I've heard a simple, "Welcome to Jordan," or "Where are you from?"—it didn't take long to figure out that most of them are negative and disrespectful. So far, most of these instances have occurred in broad daylight.

Growing up in a Muslim household, I learned a great deal about modesty. For it says in the Holy Qur'an: "Tell the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That will make for greater purity for them. And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty…" [24: 30-31, Surat an- Nur]. A sense of modesty and respect for fellow human beings is at the heart of the religion of Islam. One must respect himself or herself and respect others as well.

About 94 percent of the Jordanian population call themselves Muslims, but there are varying degrees of observance. In Amman one can find people who live their life by Qur'an and the hadith, and at the same time, you can find those whose only real affiliation with the religion is the word "Muslim" on their national ID. Many Muslims here do not practice, but they take part in important religious holidays such as Eid al- Fitr and Eid al- Adha (this past week). Despite this, Jordan considers itself an Islamic society.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said that whenever we see something objectionable, we should first change it with our hands, and if that is not possible, then with our mouths. The weakest thing we can do is object only in our hearts. No female, whether Jordanian or not, should be made to feel completely powerless against verbal slurs. It bothers me that all I can do in Amman is object in my heart. I know that appearing upset or reacting harshly will likely lead to more trouble.

I can't intervene and I can't help anyone. We walk on, pretending not to hear and keeping our gaze to the ground. It isn't about the clothes we are wearing or the way we are walking or how loudly we are talking. We're made to feel small since we cannot answer for fear of our own safety. The moral burden has been placed on our shoulders and somehow it forces us to take the moral high ground. All that is left is to mumble "Haraam alayek" at people who could not care less.

Disclaimer: I do not mean to imply that all Jordanian men harass women on the street. Far from it, I have met the nicest people while I’ve been here, and I’ve found Jordanians to be a welcoming bunch overall.