Learning to Relax in Italy

By: Emily Coccia

April 9, 2013

Piano, piano!” instructs my Italian professor on the first day of classes as she gestures with her hands for me to slow down and relax. Throughout my time here I have heard that phrase repeated countless times from professors, visitors, and friends. Literally an Italian version of “step by step,” this phrase has come to epitomize my conception of the Italian lifestyle. While I had always heard that Italians took the time to enjoy life, not rushing or getting caught up in the the busy trap so typical of the United States, I don’t think I was quite prepared for what I would find.

To demonstrate, let me illustrate a typical day. I wake up around 9:30 a.m. and head downstairs for a light breakfast, or, if I’m feeling ambitious, I’ll walk up the hill to a small café for a pastry and a cappuccino (which is only acceptable to drink in the morning). After getting ready, I head to my two person Italian class which feels more like a conversation about current events and culture with some grammar and vocabulary mixed in than a traditional lesson. After Italian, I walk back to the Villa, send a few emails (if the internet allows), and get ready for lunch. Lunch, with its student waiters, moment of silence, and traditional order for getting food, feels very formal. During the meal, students, professors, and administrators all sit together and chat while enjoying the delicious food. The meal itself lasts over an hour everyday, consisting of multiple courses and always ending with dessert and espresso.

Unlike Georgetown, where I was lucky to even have time for any lunch in my schedule, let alone an extended sit-down meal, lunch here is of the utmost importance. The idea of skipping a meal to finish a project or study for an exam is unheard of; meals are integral parts of the day. In Italian society, lunch has historically been the most important meal, and students still come home from school to eat with their families. Partially for this reason, businesses all close from 1 p.m to 4 p.m. in the afternoon. While this originally frustrated me, given that this is when I have free time to run errands, I’ve come to enjoy it. As an ingrained part of the culture, families are accustomed to spending time together everyday at every meal, carving out a few hours in their day to prioritize family over work.

In the afternoons, I typically have about two hours after lunch before my other classes start. Since businesses are closed, I find myself with actual free time, not the Georgetown “free time,” filled with busy work and errands. While I might do a bit of homework in this time, the professors here tend to assign different types of work. Whereas at Georgetown we read hundreds of pages every night, writing summaries and reflections and doing many exercises and small assignments, at the Villa we tend to have more long-term, independent projects and small excerpts to read. So instead, I’ve been forced to learn how to relax. I’ve taken to walking in the nearby park up to the very top of the hill where I can stand where Leonardo da Vinci stood when he launched his first “flying machine.” On my walk, I see people from all stages of life—children chase each other around the local playground; elderly couples stroll hand-in-hand down the small streets; mothers just finishing cleaning up after lunch yell to each other from across the street, catching up with their neighbors. After a leisurely walk, I head back to the Villa for one of my seminar classes, no bigger than ten students, where the class schedule bends to fit current events and allow for relevant discussions. After class, faced with another hour or two of free time before dinner, I normally sit and talk to the other students for a while, discussing everything from class topics, to Italian politics, to weekend plans. During dinner, we continue our conversations, often staying at the table for well over an hour just to talk over a glass of wine after we’ve finished eating. From there, we do our homework and often go somewhere as a group, eventually making our way back to the Villa, somehow never experiencing the stress that the end of a school night used to bring.

Yet this relaxation extends beyond the everyday Italian schedule; it permeates their culture and the way they approach the world. In my time here, I have come to see how highly Italians value family. While many admit to not always wanting to spend time with their families, they see it as something expected and as something of extreme importance. Family may not always be likeable, but they will always be there for one another. This sort of value affects the way they approach work and school, putting them into a secondary category, behind spending time with loved ones. This type of “piano, piano” lifestyle affects the way they view food and meals as well. Unlike in the United States where we tend to skip breakfast, work through our lunches, and “grab a bite to eat” for dinner, the Italians value food as an integral part of their culture. They appreciate the care that goes into each meal and take the time to enjoy it, rarely eating alone. The traditional lunches and long dinners, always served with red wine for all, give them a chance to stay close with each other and talk about the things that matter. From what I have seen, everything has its time and its place, creating a sense of order without ever imposing a sense of stress or rigidity on the culture.

However, this slower pace of life does not always work to their advantage. While I might have added a few years to my life by catching up on sleep and missing out on stress, I can’t say I would be quite so worry-free if I knew I had to live here for the rest of my life. After all, over the course of the semester, the Italian government has struggled to form an acceptable coalition government, still working now even though elections were quite some time ago. As the Italian people laugh and promote a relaxed lifestyle, their government falters, becoming the laughingstock of the European Union. As their economy crumbles and Berlusconi goes out and promises to return all the taxpayers’ money, the citizens suffer. Yet while Italians start to realize the drawbacks of their culture, as they watch intelligent citizens fall prey to Berlusconi’s empty promises, the relaxed culture still keeps its grip on Italian society. But now, the European Union is fighting back. As northern countries like Germany shake their heads at the struggling Mediterranean countries, Italy is confronted with the challenge of having to modernize and streamline their economy and their government while still trying to cling to their traditional way of life. While I have met many individuals who have managed to strike this balance in their personal lives, they fear that the country remains torn between two very different lifestyles. If this divide continues, both Italy and its citizens will suffer the consequences.

Despite the negatives, I have to remain forever grateful at the opportunity to live this way, if only for a semester. I may not want to work here, and I may never want to deal with the government here, but I certainly wouldn’t mind being a person here. In my few months here, I have internalized a new mindset, a way of thinking that places family and friends over the menial, everyday tasks. I have learned to appreciate the value of a meal spent with family, of a conversation with friends, of a quiet moment spent enjoying a coffee without a care in the world—even if it only lasts a moment. And I think that’s what Italian culture is about. Above all, they value the important things in life. While the rest of Europe may want them to add the economy to that list, and while the citizens may soon start to force the government up there, they know that at the end of the day, they are coming home to their families, to where they belong.

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