Love, or more specifically, relationships are embedded
within Mexican culture. Being of Mexican descent and traveling to Mexico often
I was aware of this before I arrived in Mexico City. I knew that not being in a
relationship in Mexico labels you as “strange” and “incapable of being loved,” while in America “being
single” represents liberty and independence. Moreover I knew that to understand
Mexican culture it is necessary to understand the weight we put on love. This concept
springs from the old-fashioned and slightly conservative idea of romance that
still prevails in Mexico—comparatively the U.S. believes in a more progressive
idea of love, self-love, and sexual independence. This is not to say that
relationships aren’t important in American culture, but, from my experience, one’s
education and career seem to weigh more than love in American culture, as
contrasted to Mexican culture.
To illustrate this, take, for example, the conversations one typically has with family and friends in Mexico: the “¿Ya tienes novio?” (“Do you have a boyfriend?”), or “¿Comó esta tu novia?” (“How’s your girlfriend doing?”). These questions are always asked, despite the fact that your friends and relatives usually already know the answer. Furthermore, everything from public spaces, like parks, malls, gardens, and museums, to Mexican music, like banda, mariachi, cumbia, and rap are influenced by love. Parks and malls, for example, are filled with couples of all ages. And it is in these public spaces that people usually meet their significant others. Additionally it is the passionate lyrics of Mexican music that make it so popular here. The lyrics of Te Amo: “I love you / Since the first moment I saw you / I have looked for you a long time / And I already imagined you like this,” illustrate the extremely romantic tone of music in Mexico, which is a greater illustration of the culture here.
Being intertwined with both my Mexican roots and my American culture, I struggle with the concepts of needing to be loved and its extension of needing to be in a relationship as the ultimate life accomplishment, which is of course a slight exaggeration. Moreover, I continue to struggle with the idea of “love a first sight” since I’m so used to the “getting to know the person first before I know how I feel” American standard. But from my experience in Mexico City, it is normal for Mexicans to confess their love a couple minutes into the conversation—an idea that continues to freak me out, two semesters in. However, there is also a certain kind of strength in being able to express one’s romantic feelings so boldly, which I do admire.
The desire to be in a relationship is understandable when we look at Mexico’s family-oriented culture. Relationships here are a bond between two people who want to help each other and their families out. Moreover being in a relationship is a way to unite, expand, and create new families. With this in mind, it is easy to understand why love and relationships are so important in Mexican culture.
In conclusion, I don’t want to argue that American love is different than Mexican love, but rather that love strongly influences Mexican culture and quotidian life. Thus one cannot understand Mexico without understanding its strong dating culture. From music to art, relationships shape the way Mexicans view their country.
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