Berkley Center

Religious identities tend to imply familial structures. Growing up, I can recall many families being dubbed as Irish Catholic because there were a lot of children, numerous layers of cousins and relatives, as well as multiple generations in the same city. Add a couple redheads, and this became a prototype, even in a place like Seattle, extremely far from Ireland. However, the media has skewed my image of the Italian family with connections to the mafia and Italian cuisine. Nonetheless, the Italian family also relies heavily on its Catholic identity. Italy is now 90 percent Roman Catholic, according to the CIA World Factbook. This percentage has decreased slightly over the past 30 years, but it still remains very high.

I have been living with a real Italian family, though they don't exactly fit the mold created by these statistics, assumptions, and stereotypes.

(Real names not used) Teresa has been divorced for 15 years. She lives alone and supports herself. She has three grown daughters. Two of them, Maria and Caterina, live in separate apartments next door to Teresa. Maria, a journalist, has been with her boyfriend for eight years, but they do not live together. Her older sister Caterina is married and has three sons. Her oldest son, Vincenzo, is dating a girl he met online who lives in Sardinia, an island off the coast of Italy. Caterina and her husband have worked together designing jewelry for 18 years, the same amount of time that they have been married. Teresa's’ youngest daughter, Viola, lives a couple miles away from the rest of the family with her husband and newborn baby. Her husband also has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship. Like most Italians, they are all Catholic by identification, but this may not be completely noticeable from the outside, for a variety of reasons. They do not attend Mass regularly, Caterina's kids do not go to religious school, grace is not said before meals, Maria is yet to marry and have her own children, and Teresa is divorced (divorce was legalized in Italy in 1974).

However, this modern Italian family goes beyond the stereotypes and has something more real to offer. They are extremely close, affectionate, and caring. Not a day goes by without one of Teresa's grandson’s or daughters coming by the house, either to play, talk, eat a meal, or take the dog for a walk. Their interdependence enforces the strength of their relationships, even if they are less traditional than what others might expect. This matriarchal family has also shown me a strong sense of women's rights, independence, and equality through their professions, actions, and behavior. Throughout the weak, I eat dinner with different members of the family. We often catch up about our daily activity, school and travels for me, work for them, and watch a little bit of an Italian news program which they comment on and interpret for me. Over the course of the semester these mundane conversations have turned a likeness into respect. I truly admire these women and the lives they lead, keeping the well being of their families at the forefront. Now I can leave my media-infused images of Italian families behind and hold on to the reality in front of me.