Contrary to my expectations and preconceived notions about Islam and being a woman in the Middle East, I have found myself embracing my identity as a woman and have fallen in love with the fact that I am a girl in Jordan. As a woman, I do face the daily annoyances of Jordanian men looking at me and making inappropriate comments (not to mention the random "“I love you"s and marriage proposals in cabs). I do have to be more alert than I would be in the United States for my own safety; I do feel restricted in what I can say and do with the stigma that exists here. However, being a girl has opened doors to a private and special world, the world behind the veil.
The West depicts the hijab as a sign of oppression of women, a sign of the lack of rights for women, and to an extent, it is true. I have heard horror stories of a woman having no choice but to wear the hijab, and who is restricted from leaving the house because her husband will divorce her if she took it off in public. I have heard stories of a girl feeling pressured to wear the hijab because she fears that if she doesn't, she would be viewed as a “loose” woman. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is another side to this coin of the hijab, —the side of choice and freedom. It is this side of the coin that functions as the key to the beautiful and precious sisterhood and womanhood that is veiled in public.
Apologies to all the men out there, but this world is restricted to women. No man may enter this realm unless he is a close member of the family. For all the ladies, you are welcomed into this space; the invitation to enter the strong bond of sisterhood that no man can penetrate stands firm. Nonetheless, I will provide a small glimpse of this world so that there could be greater appreciation and understanding.
One of the first things that happen in “girls only” spaces is that the hijab comes off, and once it comes off, the party (or girl time) begins. In the girls' bathrooms all over the University of Jordan's campus, for example, Jordanian girls crowd around the mirror busily fixing the hair that is hiding under the hijab. The girls will fix their hair, comment on other girls' hair, try a different hairstyle, and then put their hijab on once again and walk out of the bathroom giggling with one another. Now, some may ask what is the point if no one is really going to see the hair. But, one can also ask, what is wrong with prettying hair just to feel nice or for other girls to see? Who said that doing hair implies “for the purpose of public display?”
The "“girls only zone"” becomes far more interesting when it comes to parties. Before the party, which of course is only for ladies, the girls will get dressed in gorgeous and somewhat scandalous dresses, put on makeup, and do pretty much what any average girl would do in preparation for the party. Then, they would throw on a nice abaya and go to the party where the abayas and hijabs will come off. The girls would have a great time with each other, free from boys, expectations, and having to be conscious of how they look. Although it is strange that the girls would cover in public but not in private, there is something almost liberating in dressing up and looking good without having to think about boys. Living in the midst of a more or less covered/veiled life has almost made the fact that so many girls in the United States spend countless hours pondering over what to wear and how to conduct oneself to impress boys frustrating.
Moreover, many of these girls have told me that they chose to wear the hijab not only for religious reasons and as a sign of modesty but also so that they can reveal their whole self to their one husband. As a Christian who places value in purity, especially when it comes to guarding the heart for that one man, hearing their reason to deciding to wear the hijab was quite refreshing and exciting. The hijab is a way for some Muslim girls to guard herself from both the unwanted attention from men and the desire to want to draw attention from the opposite sex for no good reason. With the hijab, the girl is able to embrace the freedom that comes with not having to be self-conscious about her looks in relation to how boys may perceive her outward appearances.
Maybe I am biased because I am living with my wonderful Jordanian sisters and get an insider's look and because I spend the majority of my time here with girls who do come from modern, well-off, but religious families. Regardless, I have found this side of the hijab—, one that sprung from choice and desire, to only unveil oneself for the husband—quite attractive. I have not fallen in love with the hijab, and I don't think I would ever make the choice to wear one. Moreover, I would never turn a blind eye to the other side of the coin, as I am aware of the ugliness of repression that is also hiding behind the hijab and the niqab. However, knowing both sides of the coin of the hijab has provided me with a completely different outlook on what it means to be a woman in Jordan. And I am thankful for the sisters that have opened my eyes to the more unknown side of the coin, as I would have only viewed the hijab as Islam's way to control society and repress women. Moreover, the empowering choice to wear the hijab makes me question the intentions and the integrity of the hijab ban in parts of Europe and Turkey.
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