Berkley Center

Unlike other Georgetown-approved study abroad programs that are already in full swing, the Oxford academic calendar starts much later than that of other universities, so I’ve only been here for two weeks. I’ve completed Fresher’s Week, similar to New Student Orientation at Georgetown, and a week of working through reading lists for my courses here, writing essays, and getting accustomed to the esoteric tutorial system that is at the heart of pedagogy at Oxford. I’ve been meeting new faces every day, and a convenient and common icebreaker is the standard question: “Where are you from?”

I rehearsed a response in my head before arriving in Oxford, so that it would roll off my tongue easily and that I would come across as confident instead of revealing any tinge of confusion. “Hi, my name is Natasha. I’m a visiting student here for a year. I study at an American university in Qatar but am originally from Singapore.”

Sounds simple enough to say, but only after having conversations about the various facets of identity with other individuals that I have met here did I realize the layers of complexity in those words and how they reflect my personal trajectory so far, ever since leaving Singapore for the sandbox that is Doha (as expats in Qatar candidly refer to the country).

When asked about what life is like in Singapore, I realize that I tend to recite whatever I read from the few local headlines that I see on my Facebook news feed. I find myself not being able to probe deeper to offer an insight as a Singaporean citizen because I am out of touch with issues on the ground in Singapore. Simply put, living abroad has placed me in an external sphere, and there is the limit to how much I can engage with topics concerning Singapore.

Then Qatar is brought up. Interestingly, I find that people here are more interested to learn about Qatar than Singapore. Perhaps it’s the confluence of Qatar’s aggressive branding abroad, the countdown to the 2022 World Cup in Doha, and the ongoing blockade against the country that has put it on the world map. On an emotional level, however, I find myself much more excited and engaged when talking about Qatar. Besides ironically missing the sweltering heat in Doha that the weather in Britain could never offer, my social circles are centered in Doha. 

My initial plan before leaving Singapore to enroll at Georgetown in Qatar was to simply stay for the duration of the semesters and then return to Singapore. I would never have envisioned myself spending any more time in Doha beyond that. However, returning home to Singapore last year was an uncomfortable experience, and I felt as though I no longer fit in. I find myself much more at ease in Doha, and before coming to Oxford, I decided to undertake an internship in Doha—one of the most formative experiences in my career development so far. I was exposed to a more multinational working culture than Singapore offers, and mentors who always encouraged me to ask questions and “make a nuisance” of myself in the office (as advised by the human resources director). The working culture in Singapore is more rigid and hierarchical, and there was no way I could ever stop by a director’s office to strike up a casual conversation in Singapore, unlike in Doha. I thus find myself much more comfortable and happier in Doha than in Singapore.

Bringing this back to my academic journey at Oxford, being an international student with experience of living in different countries allows me to see issues from different geographical and cultural perspectives. However, moving countries, travelling around, and living out of a suitcase without any qualms has made me yearn for some stability. I find myself looking for that, and for now, during this transitional period of accustoming to life in Oxford, my support network is in Qatar, where I feel most rooted. Not Singapore.