Background: As part of the Education and Social Justice Project, in the summer of 2023, undergraduate student Pragyan Acharya (SFS'24) interviewed Natalie Grace Elena ("Ma'am Nat"), project staff at the Arrupe Educational Center (AEC) and coordinator of the Xavier University Night School Program. In this interview, she reflects on her journey from volunteer to program coordinator, the challenges and rewards of volunteerism, and the work of sustaining the Night School Program and supporting Alternative Learning System (ALS) learners.
Thank you, Ma’am Nat, for agreeing to be a part of this. We could start with a general introduction about yourself. Could you give me your name? How long have you been at Xavier's, what you studied, and when you joined the Night School Program, and what your current role is?
Hi, I am Natalie Grace Elena. I'm currently the project staff of the Night School Program ALS. I've been with Night School since 2018, and I started as a volunteer teacher. I have graduated with my course in B.S. psychology.
Since I started in Night School, I was just a volunteer teacher because it has opened my mind on teaching. I have also studied professional education so I can have the licensure for a teacher, license for teachers.
That's why I have entered the night school program––because of that.
I have met Sir Jett on one of my subjects for professional education, which was an immersion subject. So, I have immersed myself in Night School Program. That has been the start of the volunteer work.
I am a bit curious, Ma'am Nat, to just put things into, like, timeline. When did you start your Bachelor of Arts and Psychology program? When did you end that program? When did you join the professional education program? And so, when was it, then, that you then joined the Night School Program?
My age will be revealed here. I started B.S. psychology. Yeah, that's my first choice in college in 2010. I've graduated my college degree in class 2014. Then, I studied professional education in 2018. It's only an 18-unit course, but I divided the units for two semesters. That is why I graduated the program in 2019.
And you joined the Night School Program?
I joined Night School Program on my second semester of the professional education, as part of the immersion. Since it's too pricey for me, or it's too much expenses, if I will join the internship, because it's a long-term program.
You have to pay for the internship.
Yes, you have to pay for the internship. That is why me and a colleague joined Night School Program as part of the immersion.
Yeah, I'm actually a bit curious. Can you tell me more about why you chose psychology in 2010?
I chose psychology because...It's so personal, but I will answer that. I wanted to study the science and art of, you know, behavior. It's like half personal reasons because, you know, behavior or knowing somebody, a person who has hard time to express themselves. It's really encouraged me to learn more about psychology. Plus, me, myself, also have a hard time to express myself. So, studying psychology has really widened my knowledge about that, and it helps me understand people more. So, I want also to help people understand themselves better because nowadays there's a lot who are getting depressed, you know, it’s not easy to speak out what you feel. So, that’s why I chose psychology. I want to understand myself and others better and to help them understand themselves more.
That's very deep and meaningful.
Yes. So, it's hard for me to explain why I chose psychology.
So, you see, the psychology program, how was it like when you were doing psychology? You were at Xavier's. Was that experience different than in the School of Education?
Now, I need to go back to psychology again, actually. I would love to take the psychology licensure exam. I have been behind that for almost, like, I think 5 years already since I have not taken the exam. Being in psychology, I want to study people. I want to study the reason behind why this person is thinking this way, acting this way.
So, it's a very science-heavy program, the undergraduate course?
Scientific, actually, yes, there are a lot of sciences, so it's actually heavy. We have to undergo prerequisite units or subjects, to go with our major. If you are having low scores or fail the prerequisite subjects, then you cannot go to your major subjects.
What were you doing before that? Like, before joining psychology? Where did you go to high school?
I am not in Xavier for my high school. I was in Xavier during my elementary, and for high school, I went to a state university. It is now called the USTP - University of Science Technology. But before it was called Mindanao Polytechnic State College, I had my high school there for four years, I think. And I do not have really good memories of the high school, but it is okay. There are many sciences and math also in my school because it's known for having good teachers, subjects for math, and science. Then, I go back to Xavier's for my college.
And so, throughout this time, you were always in Cagayan de Oro? You were born and raised here, and you live with your family?
Yes. I'm living with my family.
So, you completed the psychology degree in 2014?
Yes, I started in 2010 and completed in 2014.
So, did you know about the street tutorials that Sir Jett used to run at that time? Were you interested on that line with becoming a teacher?
No. But, before my first choice, I wanted to be a teacher.
Like, how did you navigate to this? Why did you want to be a teacher and to do psychology?
Maybe, because I saw a lot of people. But again, you know, it is deep, this answer. People have a hard time to reach their education––to finish education. So, I want to teach because I have a good experience, or there is a role model teacher that I want to follow, that's why I want to be a teacher.
Who was this role model teacher?
When I was still in elementary school, actually. So, the way they teach students would really motivate me. They let you really grow as a person, and so, I like to be that teacher to somebody: encouraging, being a motivator for them, because a lot of people has their experiences you don't know about. And being a teacher is like you're the second parent at school, right? Yeah. So, I want to be that teacher, you know, that where students can go to talk about things that they cannot talk to their families, will teach them learning, experiences. That is different.
So, going back to the timeline that you were talking about. Yes. When you finished your psychology degree in 2014, what did you do after that?
Are you really asking this question?
Yeah. I mean, if you are comfortable sharing.
Okay, 2014, I had become a mom. Yeah. So, I was, what do you call this, a stay-at-home mother to Nia. I just, yes, I just took care of my daughter at home, and tried having online work. I tried also the online teaching, then that's just what I am doing at home, having work at home. I was teaching ESL, do you know ESL?
English as a second language?
Yes, that was what I was teaching at home. Because I have to watch out for my daughter. I don't want to go out and look for a nanny. I want to be the one taking care of my daughter.
So, when you decided to join the professional education program, Nia was three years old? Did you start the professional education program because she started to go to school?
Not yet. Okay. I went to professional education because Nia is already three years old, so why not go and do something for myself? So, I went with professional education course. But Nia is with me always in class. She’s with me during my classes. And you have met Ma’am Nadine, right? The one with the child swimming in this swimming pool? She was my teacher before. So, they have met me, Nia. Also, Sir Butch was my teacher before. They met Nia. They know that since Nia was three years old, she was always with me, wherever, I go Nia is with me. Because I didn't have a nanny.
I mean, I am just the one taking care of Nia.
So, Nia has also done the professional education course?
Yeah, she's also studying. But I've let her study earlier at three years old, because being at home really does not help the child. You know, it's just the two of us. Because my brother and sister are always at school and my parents have their jobs that always let them have to travel around. My father is not really there at home. He is in Camiguin to work. Then my mother's job entails her to travel around the Philippines. So, it's just me, my brothers, and sister at home.
So, when you decided to do the professional education program, you wanted to do it because now you think that you needed to work, or because you think this was your good choice?
Actually, professional education was one of my career paths. It was one of my goals since I'm still in college, while I was still taking psychology. It's like I have planned out what will happen to me. Yeah, me and my colleagues, "Okay, after graduating let's go to professional education, let's take the licensure exam, let's take the master's."
But when you are here, you did the license, you did the exam, you passed the licensure exam.
I passed the licensure exam for teachers. But not yet on the psychologist licensure exam.
But have you tried for that, or are you planning to?
I was planning, but then the [COVID-19] pandemic happened.
So, what is your path after that? Do you become a psychologist?
You have to take test, you can do research. You can be in the human resource with this. That sort of things. That's the first thing you can have when you graduate psychology. So, if I want to proceed with psychology and guidance counselor, I have to study again another course.
Is that a plan for you?
Yes, that was still a plan, also.
And working where––in school, as a psychologist? Is that a thing here, or...?
It depends on you, really. You can go to a hotels business or into the hospitals as a HR––human resource––because we have also a major, and that is called industrial organizational psychology. So, actually, psychology has many fields, if you just want to pursue it, but it's just added another learning, another schooling.
So, now, let's talk about your experience when you were in your professional education program. So, you were there, your daughter was there with you, and you were also doing this program. You spread it out across two semesters, 9-9 credits each, and in your second semester, you met Sir Jett. Can you tell me more about this? Like, how did you reach that point? How was it when you started out? Was it challenging? New field?
Meeting Sir Jett had happened because there was an invitation from a teacher, Ma’am Nadine, for the immersion subject. I have to choose whether to go to a partner school in Bukidnon or to stay here in Cagayan de Oro and immerse myself in ALS sector. So, that's where it started, actually. I chose to stay here in Cagayan because I have my daughter, and I do not want to leave my daughter here and go to Bukidnon, which is far away. I have known about ALS, and I was put into an area in Lumbia, you know, where in there is a city jail. It is like house for street children, like orphans.
So, children in contact and conflict with law?
Yes, they are teaching ALS there. So, I have immersed myself, also, there. That's where I met Sir Jett.
When was this?
I hope I remember. That's 2019.
So, when you were doing the immersion?
Sir Jett was the speaker, yes. So, I have left Nia to my relatives so that I can go inside the jail to immerse, and serve, and teach the school.
So, you were doing that, and one event, Sir Jett was the speaker? How did you meet him?
I met him because he was the one doing the orientation for the immersion. Okay, so, then, they're looking for volunteers. So, after the class, after the requirement, I started to observe the night school classes. And then, they have the need for volunteer teachers. So, we chose to be part of the program and teach the learners.
Who invited you to observe the Night School Program?
The one who invited me was Sir Jett.
If you remember, what was your first impression of him?
Sir Jett? He was a funny guy. Okay. I think Sir Jett has so many ideas and thoughts. So, it's a good thing to know him because in the educational sector or in the field work of volunteerism, it is different from the path of other people. Volunteerism or volunteer work is hard for other people. So, I ask myself, "Why not try?" Because it's different, you know, to do things with payments, to have some things in return. But being a volunteer, and the learners know about you, the learners will know that you're the teacher. They're just with you. So, it's something fulfilling to know that you're part of this person’s life and have changed something in them. So, I continue, and it was just another sign. Again, you know, I became the admin staff of night school just for six months. So, I was thinking about should I continue or not. But then, they've given me the admin staff position, and then, until now, I'm still admin staff or the project staff.
And before going there, talking about your role. Volunteerism is indeed very difficult, right?
It's difficult when there's little resources. It's difficult when you have to encourage people to be part of it. And when the beneficiaries are having problems of their own. Financial problems, family problems. It's a lot. If you're a volunteer in that situation, you should always have your mind set that every time the learner comes to school, there might be something happening with him or with her.
And then, your personal life at that period was, in many ways, I believe, challenging? You had to manage a lot of things.
Yes, a bit challenging.
You have to manage a new program that you're doing, a new professional education program. Then, you have your family obligations, and then, you have taken on this new volunteer responsibility, which, as you describe, is very challenging. Why did you do it? How did you manage?
Actually, my family here, asking me, "Why do you go there, you know, when there is no salaries?" When you cannot receive anything, however, the challenging thing is only when you're thinking about what people say about this––if you will let people affect you or what they are saying affect you. So, as I said a while ago, it's your choice if you'll be affected, or you do something about it. So, I chose to challenge myself and do the volunteer work, continue being a volunteer in Night School Program. Because I've seen myself. I have this. I have finished studying. Now, I have professional education. I have a daughter, and I have received so many things, even though there are many challenges in life. But these kind of learners, these people doesn't have really anyone else. So, I chose to continue to be a volunteer. Because if I can have something, why not them, right? Why can I not be someone to provide them for that.
That is true for a lot of people. There are a lot of people who are studying at Xavier's. Maybe, everyone has, in many ways, a lot of benefits or things like privileges.
Not really, because some are scholarships. If you interview a lot of students in XU, some of them are scholars––like Roy, RV, Patch, Shame, they are scholars.
But maybe, if you compare them to the beneficiaries of the Night School Program, they are, still, in some ways.
Yes, even though we have a hard time, there are much more people that has more hardships than us.
And not everyone chooses to give back or help or reach out? So, why, you?
Why me? I think is a personal again, it is a personal answer. I just have this, maybe, strong feelings for people who has a hard time. I really don't want to see people having a hard time because, me, I'm having a hard time, you know, in some things and some situations. But I can manage. I know I can help myself, but these people don't really know what to do.
Do you find purpose or meaning in this work? Can you talk about that?
Yes. Because sometimes, you know, if you ask volunteers, Night School Program has been their outlet. Maybe, it's also a reason for me, also, to have something to ground me. Well, thinking about people who has a hard time, but then, they're still continuing, they are still pursuing their dreams. So, being in the Night School Program is a two-way situation. I might not receive financial, but the emotional, the feeling of the family, the learnings, the experiences.
Feeling of family?
Yes. That's what we build now in Arrupe. I think you can see it. I don't know if I think it started with the new director because it happens that now, it's Sir Maeng, and so, the direction of the center has changed, and we welcome volunteers. Not only because of the privilege or just because of volunteer work services, but because we want everybody else to experience that there's so much. There is so much more than the formal school, there's so much more behind what you see, what you think. It is good.
You were a volunteer in your second semester. Then, you also completed your professional education program; this was 2019. Then, you just continued with Night School Program? How did it work?
Every night, I went to Night School Program, weekdays. Every time they need teacher, I'm there because we are short of volunteer teachers, before. So, even though I am teaching Filipino subject, whenever the admin before that ask for volunteer teachers. And I have to teach with these learners.
The admin before is Sir Jett?
No, it was Ma’am HL. She is now in New York; she is the admin staff of Arrupe before Sir Karl.
When did Sir Karl come in?
Actually, same for me, 2019, or something like that. He's a student, and the assistant for the office, then, they just have Sir Karl as the admin.
So, every night, when you were a student, you went there to volunteer, and you graduated in 2019 May, June, July?
May.
And what did you do after that?
After that. What did I do after that? I just continued my volunteer work, then online job. But I stopped my online job because I had to take the licensure exam for teachers. It's really hard to have a job, then studying.
Was the exam difficult? When was that exam?
Actually, the exam was not really difficult. And not to boast. But what's on my mind in that time was just to finish, just take the exam and pass. And then, I pass. Not everybody knows that I would be taking the exam, only my family and some few people in the center, in the office. That time must be a depressing stage for me, depressing moments, but I just continued doing what I should do. That’s what I need.
What kept you going in that period.
What kept me going? I think it's the need to improve, the need to challenge myself. Something new. I think that's it. And to know I have a daughter, also. I have to think of her, too.
So, Sir Jett asked you to continue in the Night School Program as an admin staff. Was that also a volunteer position?
Yes, that was a volunteer position. There's no salary, before.
For admin staff. So, Sir Karl did not have salary?
Sir Karl has a salary because he was at the office, and he has other projects. But for me, I was just the admin staff; it was a volunteer work.
And you still agreed?
Yes, I agree with that. Knowing that, again, I can help a lot of people if I stay there. You know, I don't want to stop what's happening with the Night School Program. So, I continued serving them, being the admin staff. And I have visitations, before. Because admin work is different from being a volunteer, too. I mean, admin work entails you to do a lot of things behind.
So, when you were doing this volunteer work, for how long did you do this volunteer admin work––from when to when?
It started last November 2019 until now, the present.
You are still working without a salary.
Yes. Sadly...Joking! Oh, no, no, no. We have started to plan out an honorarium. It's like an allowance for admin stuff. We have approval for it. But now, we have a concern with the HR of Xavier because every project should go to the HR office, but my contract was not yet approved. So, there’s no salary.
But, this makes me curious, because since I have been here, I see you working the standard nine-to-five, plus the other five.
Until eight. I cannot just leave them. You know, we have some hardships in the program. And then, the program, in making the materials for the class, in communication with the learners, also with our volunteers. So, I have experienced it firsthand actually, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to call, who to go to. So, being in the office until Night School Program ends at eight, let me know more about how the program works. I don't want to be just someone that they will tell about things. I want to be there when that happens. So, that's why I really stayed, and that is why they are looking for me, because I do not just want to work and do admin staff and not doing class.
Every time I see a learner come to AEC, most times the first question they ask is, "Where is Ma’am Nat?"
Why do you think they keep on looking for me? I didn't know why people are looking for me. I think it's because they can always come to. You have to keep a boundary from the learner because there's a limit on their relationship. But if you do not reach out to them, if you will not talk to them, you will not really know why: Why are they like that? Or what's happening to them? You have to talk, and really be with them. Because if they do not feel you, they will not share, they will not talk to you, and you will not know what to do if there are emergencies. If there are problems, problems arising. You cannot know what will happen. So, for me, you have to have a relationship with the learners.
Has there been times in the past where learners have had emotional hardships? Do you mind sharing that experience?
Is this actually hard? Because being the admin, we have no core members before. There were no coordinator for learners, there were no volunteers that has a set of deliverables. It's only the admin stuff that works everything, before. So, I am the one in contact with the learners. When the learners are absent during the class, you should contact them immediately. Why are they absent? What's the reason for that? What happens? There are instances that the learner has bad relationship with their family, and one, they shared to me that they don't have a good relationship with his father. And sometimes, he hurt himself. I understand that because it happened to me, also, before. I'm always there when they call. I'm always there when they chat, and they talk.
Do you get these phone calls often?
Yes, they always chatted me like. Maybe, late nights. I always talk to them. What happens to your day? Why are you absent? I cannot just stop the conversation, you know? Okay, it’s not good to stop the conversation because you do not know what will happen after that. Because they're too emotional that time. So, I have to continue talking until they can find or they can accept the situation that they will have to, you know, let it out.
There is a learner... I think Sir Maeng has told you about that. We have experience last November 2022. There was a learner that had died that night. It was hard because we always..
Did they hurt themselves? Or was it...?
He died because of sickness. But I think it's not, because, you know, our learners' background...have so many conflicts with the law. So, we are having doubts on why he died. It may be because he had become a spy for the government or for the police. That's why he has bruises. It is hard, and we just accept it because we cannot, you know, the government work is really not good. We have a love/hate relationship with CSWD. CSWD should support those kind of beneficiaries, right? But when I asked them what happened to this learner some, and when I interview some learners who are with that learner, it does not connect.
That's why we have hesitation on why he died. We asked the parents to have an autopsy, but they do not want to. From the day he died until he was returned to his hometown. We are there, so we help in the preparations. We communicated with the parents, with the family. We look for family members because, if none, then, they will have to bury him here in CDO.
You think the police made him an informant?
Yes. That happened. Some learners told us about that because he was still a child when he was here in CDO. He was still minor. Some of our learners are here early on in the streets. So, it's hard. So, we don't believe really what the police says or CSWD says because they sometimes ask learners to help them with these situations they might not tell you. But there are undergrounds stories. Our learners have so many stories to share, if you ask them. But that might affect your study.
No, no. It seems to me that the purpose of CSWD, and with my conversations with them, too, was to try to get these people out of the streets, but not really to try to transform.
Yes, that's it. That's the hard thing. Because they said about the learner, they will have a home for them. But then, when emergencies arises, like fire, floods, these evacuation centers became the sites for those people who have lost their homes. So, the street children will be back again to the streets because they're not the first priority. The first priority are those who have lost their homes because of tragedies.
So, their goal is to really just get them out of the picture?
Yes, sadly, most of them really want only that. That's why some learners will just go to an Internet café to stay overnight or look for some place to stay overnight.
They won’t stay in the CSWD facilities?
No. We also have a story about Kevin. You know Kevin, right? Kevin was already, he was with CSWD because he was seen in the streets, and the streets should not be slept on. Right. So, they have custody of him. I asked Norman, since Norman was the learners development coordinator before, to go to CSWD and fetch Kevin, because if we do not fetch Kevin, he will be put in the juvenile jail and will have to stay there for at least one to two weeks. Then, he will not come to school, if that happens. So, we have to go there to CSWD, to act as the guardians of the learners, to get them out of custody. That's why, if you see their ID, some of their ID says I am the guardian. They will call for me, if something happens to learners.
Why does CSWD send them to the juvenile detention center?
They do not have families here.
So, that's why they just send them to juvenile detention?
First option will be to look for a family, to look for a place for them to stay. And it will be either the evacuation center or the juvenile. Because sometimes they assume that our learners have solvents.
You know, solvents? Some learners do use solvents. So, even though our learner doesn't use that, they will assume that and write in the report. That’s why some of our learners do not trust police and the system.
And juvenile detention. Doesn't that create bad influences?
Not really. But they will have to stop school for how many days.
And after two weeks, send them there for two weeks. And once they come out?
Come up again on the streets. That happened with our learners. And that's why they have to look for a place to put their things. And find another place to stay, to rest and sleep.
You know, I am curious about what the CSWD does in the evacuation center. Is that a housing facility?
Yes, that's a housing facility. But its first priority are those who have lost their homes or tragedies.
So, you've mentioned that some learners have you as guardian. How many are there? Like, are there a lot? Do you have to entertain a lot of phone calls and go through a lot of hurdles?
Now, it's between me and the learners development coordinator, RV. Before, it was Norman; Norman and me are the ones who are always called on when there's something happening with our learners. Because I have no, "I cannot do it anymore." When so many stages and other projects, I have to call out help from the volunteers. Now, the volunteers have become also like this admin of the office. They know everything already, so we work on it. When one is not there, the other will cover up with work on it.
But now, it's you and RV who get these phone calls. How frequent are they?
Sometimes, they just chat with us. When they have problems with their family, financial problems, they tell us.
Support you in what way?
What supports us––partnerships. For now, we are looking for a senior high school: someone to teach senior high.
For junior high graduate or to have senior high program itself?
Senior high program in night school so that they can finish their schooling. And have partnerships for their work. If they do not want to finish senior high, we have to look for scholarships for college, also, because some want to finish.
So, how was your role as volunteer teacher and then the project staff different?
Oh, it's really not different. Maybe, what's the different thing is just the name itself. The project staff volunteer, but for me, it's the same.
In what sense?
The sense that I have to be of service to the learners, you know when they need someone. Like I said before, it's not just on paper, it's not just a work. The Night School Program has become like a home for the learners. So, we should have that mindset to be open to this kind of learners. Every time we have orientation for our volunteers, we orient them that these are the background of our learners. Are you prepared? You know, what should you prepare, if this kind of background or this happens with us? So, we have to let them be prepared because some learners might not be used to it, or some volunteers might not be used to it.
How do you manage that? Because I believe when you engage with people who have so much psychological and physical and material distress, and it's obviously going to rub off on you as well?
Yes, it's so stressful, actually.
So, how do you help the volunteer teachers deal with these things?
What we do in night school is also a volunteer activity for them, like a de-stressor: "Let's have a process of what happens for this month, for this semester with night school. What do we need to change? Are you really wanting to continue? Do you still want to?" Just these questions and processing.
Has there been times where you have had to really talk through and help volunteer teachers?
Yes. Some volunteer teachers also talk to me. I always like personal message to them. Every one of them. "How was your experience in high school program so far? Yes. Least you want to continue. How was it being a teacher? How was there any concerns or issues?" Because if I would talk to them like that and not on the group chat, then some would really share that they have a hard time, they want these changes, they want to improve there. And then, we should look for it, and work for it.
I am a bit curious in the sense that you really go, it seems to me, out of your way.
I don't know if I should leave night school. Actually, it's a thought, What will happen if I leave night school?
Why do you care?
Why do I care? That's a personal question again. So, why do I care? You know, being in night school is a personal choice. It should be a personal choice. Not because you were forced on to become a volunteer, not because you just want certificates. Although, with service records, although, with night school program, it should be not just a program.
It should be a choice.
Night school program should be like a home for the learners. And for the volunteer teachers, as well. Because taking care of their personal, all the foundations of a person, should be there in the Night School Program. Because it affects all of us.
It should not just be professional?
Yes, it should be more than that.
What should it be?
It should be like a personal development for you. Not just for professional growth.
You know, Ma’am Nat, the people that I've talked to before, all the people, you have been called the heart of the Night School Program, the "Superman" of the office, among many other things.
Why did they mention that?
Exactly. I was curious how you would evaluate your role––your significance to the day-to-day operations.
It's really hard to leave night school. They will always tell me I should not.
So, it's really hard for you to leave. Everyone thinks––most people think––you are central to the running of the program. And it's hard for you to leave because they tell you not to leave?
Not just.
Is it really a choice, or...?
No. Not because they want me not to leave. It's just because of the attachments. Maybe, because of the people behind that. Those people I've met through night school. It will be hard. That's why I...We're always preparing, Sir Maeng and I, are preparing a program that, if it happens, it will be. You know, it's not me or Sir Maeng, anymore. The program will still sustain. The program will work on its own. But we're working on it.
Are you planning to move on to other things? Do you think you should?
I am thinking about continuing my psychology course, you know, but I think it's not easy to just leave night school behind. Maybe, step by step.
Why is it not easy?
I've grown attached to the people, the mission of, you know, meeting these learners. And I think if I finish my psychology, I can have more. I can do more, because, I will have another license. We have another linkages that I can help Night School with.
So, it all comes back to helping Night School.
It all comes back to the choice of helping people. Not only Night School.
Why help people? I want to know where this commitment, or conviction, or value comes from.
It comes to my personal experience and choice. I really want to help people again, because not all people are like me, that can have access to look and manage themselves. Not all people can.
Okay, not to judge again, but there are so many people like me, like them, that maybe, in many ways, have so much more.
Yes. But they do not know what's Night School.
Yeah. And they do not.
They do not know these people.
And maybe, they do not want to know or do not care enough to know.
That is why we are working hard to let Night School be known. These people really needs to know.
People don't share this conviction, you know?
Yes. Not all understand. Not all will accept.
So, why do you choose to understand, honestly? Sometimes, you can choose to ignore it, as well. People focus on themselves, their problems, their struggle, their difficulties.
I believe people are interconnected. It just...the energy, the people having a hard time it just goes to me. And I don't want to see people.
And there is so much depth, and meaning, and value, and kindness to your response. And how have you sustained this conviction? Has it come to you? Has it grown?
In what way?
In what way...Do you like this conviction? This commitment to serve others, to help people? You told me that this has come to you from your personal experience. From choice. From wanting to understand. And your answers show a lot of depth, and kindness, and maturity. So, is this commitment, has this commitment sustained? How do you sustain it? Because it is tiring, as you said, day in, day out. There must be moments of weakness, moments where you falter.
There are. There are a lot of things to think about. And because we have a strong tight relationship in Night School Program, the volunteers, me and Sir Maeng. I think it's the plus thing in the office, because we know each other, we know the weaknesses of each other, and we know what's happening around. We know each one of us. So, when the time comes, we just say, "Okay, let's destress. Let's have a moment to take a pause, evaluate what has happened, what needs to change. Do we have to continue this?"
We have to have the support system in the program because our volunteers are also students, you know. So, as the admin, and Sir Maeng as a director, we have to work, we have to talk it out, and I also, sometimes, share this or my own thoughts, my concerns. It's really good to talk it out. That's what we are telling them. That we have to communicate when you have a hard time. So, the support system is really built on. That's, maybe, what has helped us to continue, even though we have a hard time.
Support system for the learners...the volunteers...Who is your support system?
That's... Now, that's a great question. My support system is myself, I think. Above else, you should really, really have yourself, even though you cannot, you know...I might talk to Sir Maeng, I might talk to some volunteers, but you know, I think you can see how our relationship works in the office. They might be younger than me. Some might be younger. They are students, but we treat each other as like if you have problems you can share. To me, we are like just brothers and sisters, like a family. There are times I can talk to Shame, Crysvenne, Roel, and Sir Maeng, but there are some instances that I just keep on myself because, you know, not all things can be shared. And not all things are easy to express.
And you just process that yourself?
Yes, I process it, myself. I sometimes ask Sir Maeng that I want to have a cool down, and Sir Maeng understands, if I come to the office late. I am not a morning person, I process everything.
But you are a part-time employee. Do you have an obligation to come to the office at 8:00 a.m.?
No. I'm a part time at NSTP, but I do not have a contract with Night School. I'm not a regular employee in Xavier's, so I cannot. So, it's okay, if I can come in any time I want. This is just volunteer work.
Yes. So, you worked with Sir Jett and then Sir Maeng.
Sir Jett was just a project head, the project, that lead. But I work under Ma’am Marves. Ma’am Marves as the director.
So, how was that experience?
The transition was so different.
In what sense?
In the sense that you can speak with Sir Maeng. I can share my thoughts, my ideas. Ma'am Marves is different. We have that boundary that "I'm the boss. You're an employee," like that. So, it's a different relationship. I think you saw it in the office. We can talk to Sir Maeng, and we can show around with Sir Maeng. Sir Maeng, even though he's having a hard time, he opens himself that we can share to him, also. He is like a father figure in the office.
So, your relationship with him is more open and personal and more humane, would you say?
Yes. It's like we have boundaries in the office. But like, again, I said, we have made it like a family, like a home for everyone else. So, that's why, if you can ask some volunteers, it's like they feel at home in Arrupe, and that's what we don't want to change.
Can you elaborate a bit more about what home means?
Home means somewhere you can rest, somewhere you can speak freely, express yourself freely. Be yourself.
Do you think you have always had home?
What question is this? Yes, I always have a home.
At the Night School Program, I mean.
Yes, Night School Program is a home. That's where I met people I can talk with. I can share things with, I have some similarities with. It's different from my own home. You know, we have family, we have our own home. But sometimes, your home is not the home. Do you understand that? Sometimes, you can find home in others, in someone else.
It happens. Do you find home somewhere else? Or do you make home somewhere else?
I find home somewhere else. And maybe, it's in Arrupe. But that's why it's hard, also, to leave people.
Sometimes, do you think, like, as much as you give to people, to learners, to volunteer teachers, to everyone else, do you feel that you could receive a bit more? Do you think people around you could do a bit better in terms of...?
Yes, there are things like that. True. But in the end, I have to be discern. Why did I chose this, in the first place? Sometimes, amidst the difficulties, you should have a moment, or take a pause, and think. Take a pause, and, you know, discern, process everything. So, that's why, maybe, sometimes, it helps me when Sir Maeng understands that I need to have a breather. Sometimes, your mind will not push and let me do things. I think he understands that I became stressed of some matters. And some learners know, they cheer me up with BTS, with coffee. They know, they know a lot.
Can you elaborate your relationship with Sir Maeng? Has it changed over time?
No, Sir Maeng sometimes will push you to be better. Sir Maeng will give you opportunities to grow. So, like he said, being a leader should not just be on being on top. You should work. You should be together with your people. So, that's what I also like about Sir Maeng. Not because we have these labels, project staff, director, we cannot work on the ground, we should work on the ground. I like that with Sir Maeng.
So, having worked with ALS for so long, did you know about this when you were doing your professional educational program?
I was just introduced to it during the immersion.
So, how do you think ALS should be improved? What are the areas in which it needs to be strengthened?
ALS can be strengthened on the curriculum. Maybe that's why we have a hard time to look for ALS teachers. Because Xavier's do more, Xavier's will look at something and will want to work on it. When this is something that needs to be change, enough, or not. The government do not want that. Don't want that. You know, if they already have this curriculum already, it's hard for them to change or make changes. So, I want that. Maybe, if Sir Butch will still be part of ALS. Maybe letting ALS know more, be known more. Yeah, because there's a lot to do with the curriculum. There's a lot to do with the teachers, because now we have the concerns for the teachers.
What concerns?
I will have to open up. Some teachers will just want learners to pass because of a performance rating. Oh my. How do you write this? It might be negative.
No, it's not, do not worry, tell me.
With my experience in Night School, you know, we do share with our volunteers because we do not want our volunteers to be behind or, like, don't know anything about what's happening. We want us to be like, there's the term: transparent. To our volunteers, they should know about everything.
And there should be a standard for passing and failing the learners.
Our focus is that learners should finish their studying, and they should learn that is why we have classes every day. But these ALS teacher, some of them, only some of them doesn't really focus on that. So, that's why we have supplementary.
Their main emphasis is to...
Just finish the learners.
Just have them pass, and go through, and just have it on their portfolio.
Some ALS teachers do have that. Because you know 100% performance rating, 100% passing grade. It will change your rating as a teacher. So, some teachers are that sad and we don't want that in the Night School Program. So, sometimes, I tell the volunteers that this will happen eventually because the government will, you know, just make last minute changes on their schedules like this. They said before that the assessment will be in June. Now, they say no, it's in May. So, our learners haven't finished all of their modules. But there are ALS teachers who want them to finish 70 learning activities sheets. Some learners will be demotivated because they think they cannot finish it all by the deadline.
...or finish in a meaningful way. In a way that they actually learn.
That's what we aim to be or to aim to do in high schools. But some ALS teachers cannot connect with us, they cannot go with our mission and vision. And I suppose that's the hardest thing. How many years I've been with Night School, it is the hardest thing there is. You cannot really communicate or connect with some teachers. And we just cannot, you know, report them. Sir Maeng knows about this, we know about this, but he says, let's be civil. But the learners do share with us when there is something happening with the ALS teachers.
Do they have problems with the ALS teachers?
Yes, they have problems, sometimes, like the ALS teachers are too strict. So, this kind of learners should not be. Yes, you have this limitations. But you cannot just tell them they have to finish this, "or else, I fail you." There are some instances that the teacher will tell them to copy their modules just to finish and put in their portfolio. There are teachers who will just tell them, in Visaya, that your boyfriend is not going to pass, he has not done the modules. So, in front of the learner, it's bad. It's not good.
It's not good teaching practice at all.
Yes. So, it has demotivated the learner. And the thought of the learner was, "I cannot finish on time, so why continue?" There are learners that are like that.
They have dropped out like that?
We have brought him back. He was there last night. So, we have assisted him. It's what our mission is. Even though the ALS teacher had actually said no, we always look for the learner and assist them to finish.
With the NSP, having been in the program for so long now, how have you seen the program change, and what do you think are room for improvements by NSP?
Have I seen a change in the Night School Program throughout the years? There are changes on the curriculum, maybe on class setting, just set up classroom management, but there are always changes in the Night School. Change is always constant with Night School because, like we said, there are different kinds of learners. We should always have options: how many options, many adjustments, alternatives. Because what you plan before will not happen always. So, in Night School Program, amidst everything we have written down and planned, you should be ready to do alternatives. So, maybe, the change are the volunteers, and then, partnerships. We have now moved from one ALS teacher to four. And also the classes, we now have Saturdays. I think that helps.
What changes do you think are important––support from administration, maybe from School of Education?
Support from the School of Education. Because we need teachers. We need teachers who will help us in the curriculum development. We need help from them to train our volunteers on the facilitation planning, the lesson planning. Also, faster management, and some volunteers does not know how to. There are still concerns shared by learners that teachers are strict, or if they cannot adapt to the needs of the learners. Maybe that we need to change the timeline when to orient and train our volunteers.
What was the time during the pandemic like for the Night School Program? How did you deal with the disruptions?
During the pandemic, we have to move online.
Was this immediate?
Yes, it was immediate. When they announced there is no class, immediately, we look for an alternative. We go to online class, like, the module is still up. Google Classroom is still up, but since some learners doesn't know how to use these apps, we continued the class with messenger. Facebook Messenger. In that moment, in that time, they have reviews for their exam, because they thought they would have an exam. So, their reviews were on Messenger. There are trainings are in Messenger. Then we call them, always. If you cannot join the Google Classroom, then join the class in Messenger. That’s what happens, because it's hard for them to access module plus online class.
So, you did a combination of Google Classroom and Messenger throughout the pandemic. How long was this?
And also modular modules: we send PDF online copies to them. So, those who can print it out, you download it from your phone or your gadget. If not, we have to go house to house to give modules.
During the pandemic? Like, wearing masks and everything?
Yes.
Was it difficult because of it?
It was so difficult because, you know, we have to bring all these, our I.D. We can pass through because we are in the education sector. We just show our I.D. and say that we have to give the new modules, so that we can pass.
Was it scary for you? You have a daughter at home.
Yes, it was scary, actually. My parents do not want me to go. But I have to because I am the admin; I don't want it to pass to other people. Yeah, it's my work. Why would I pass it to others? When I can do it? So, that's what happens during the pandemic. We give food, we have the QRM––quick response mechanisms. So, okay, who can donate food for the learners because their jobs are on the line? They cannot have work. The street children will not have their job, also, because no one will go out. So, we ask for donations. And we also give that house to house recitations. Give food, you know, modules, print at home, then give the module together with the food only. Only Sir Jett’s car. He volunteered his car because we have no car at the moment. Sir Karl had no car at the moment, it's only Sir Jett.
Was it the van that he had?
Not the van. It's just like the car of Sir Karl. So, we have to go back west, again back to the home of Sir Karl to get their materials and things because you have over 50 kilos of rice, it is heavy for the car. In the afternoon we go to the east side. It's a difficult trip, long day trip, west to east.
Everything seems, and this is to bring our conversation towards the close, it seems very tough, it seems, like, occupying, and maybe, that's a good thing, too, because it keeps you busy. It gives you a direction and purpose to work on. Do you want to talk about that? Is that true, or is that...?
Yes, it is true. Maybe, that's why there are volunteers who are still sticking around and continuing in Night School: because they have seen their new purpose in life.
Volunteers like you?
Yes, maybe, like me. Do not make me an example. I don't want that because, you know, even though I am, they always tell those things about me, like you said ago. I'm not that, I'm not the Superman, I'm not the Superwoman. I'm just me. I think I should not be the factor for they choose to be at Night School to volunteer. It should be because they want to. It's different if they want because I am there. What will happen if I am not there? Will they stop? No, you. This is also one of my fears. What will happen if I'm not there? Will the learner stop their schooling? It's what I want the learners to know: that even though I'm not there, you should still continue. The volunteers can be trusted. You know, I want them to know that even though I'm not there, they can go. They can go to the volunteers.
It seems to me that you are dealing with a lot of stress, then stress of having to pull all of this together. And then, also, the stress of just the thought that if you leave, then, the worry that this might not continue.
That's the fear, because they always keep looking for me. What will happen if I'm not there.
How do you want to deal with this? How do you plan to?
I always tell the learners, and there's this moment when I was sick. That is the one day I was absent. They chat, "Ma’am Nat, I have no modules," "I am looking for this kind of lesson." I told them I am not there because I am sick and have asthma and they should trust the volunteer. You should trust them with all of this, and we might have a hard time, might not be easy, but you have to trust them. Yeah, because the volunteers are there. I'm not. You should go to them. That's the hardest thing, also, we should put in the minds of our volunteers that this will happen, eventually. So, it means that whenever there are any stress on our learners, they should be open.
Because I think we completed a lot of what I wanted to talk about, is there something you'd like to add? The recorder will still get to know.
I think if they want to continue volunteer work, they should put their hearts on it because it's not that easy task. We should be prepared for all of the stress, the emotions. The stress on the body and the mind. They should think twice. Should they still continue? Well, why did they volunteer? That’s why our tagline in Arrupe now is, "Know where your heart is." Do you really want to continue being a volunteer? Do you really want to continue this work? That's what we do. We ask always in our processing.
And, you know where your heart is?
Yes, that's why I'm here. That is why I am here in Arrupe.
Thank you for this conversation. It was very powerful, very meaningful. I really enjoyed talking to you.
