Berkley Center

Father Alberto Cutie, a former Roman Catholic priest who is now married and serving in the Episcopal Church, discusses marriage in the United States and the role of the Catholic Church. He suggests that the Church needs to respond to the realities and struggles that Christian marriages are facing today with pastoral openness and understanding.    

Is there a marriage crisis in the United States? How would you characterize it?  

I don't believe there is a "marriage crisis" in the United States, but I do think all houses of worship—beyond denomination or faith tradition—could be doing a lot more to provide programs which strengthen marriages and families. One of the best ways to ensure a healthy and happy life for our children is to have happier and healthier marriages. My wife and I spend a lot of time helping married couples to strengthen their marriage and to pray together, because we believe that is God's work.

What are the particular challenges that you see facing the Catholic Church?  

The Roman Catholic Church has many of the same challenges that most mainstream Christian denominations are facing: an aging population with fewer young people showing an interest in traditional religious expressions. There is also a significant number of young people saying they believe in nothing—sociologically we call them the "nones"—that is an ever growing concern for all of us.  

Yet, the Roman Catholic Church faces some challenges that the rest of us do not, because in the years that followed Vatican II, the Church did not do much to move forward in embracing the changing world around us. When bishops and cardinals requested the pope to consider optional celibacy for secular/diocesan priests, it was always denied. There is no dialogue about the possibility of women ever being ordained—it's actually not even open for discussion. Issues like contraception, remarried Catholics who would like to receive Holy Communion, homosexuality, and others have never been open to discussion, debate, or any type of pastoral revisions. These issues make the Roman Catholic Church exclusive and elitist—not truly open to all.  

As someone who spent time inside the Catholic Church, sharing its message about sexuality—and who later left the Church and got married—are there central challenges you think the Church needs to address? Is there anything that you think the Catholic Church's hierarchy does not understand about the reality of sexual and family life?  

I believe the Church is many people, not just the hierarchy. Unfortunately, when you limit the hierarchy to mostly celibate men with little connection or interest in marriage and family life, you end up with a "disconnected" leadership. And to me, that was always my perception of many of my colleagues and the leaders I encountered in the Church. Lots of interest in canon law, liturgy, and other ecclesiastical matters, but very little concern with everyday life and those issues that are central to the Gospel of Jesus.  

How is the evolving role of women in our world changing marriage—and how should the Church respond?  

Women and men who believe in marriage as a sacrament or a holy institution are very much aware of the sacredness of their vows and commitment. I think that there is a growing number of people in our society that prefer to see marriage as a legal piece of paper, with little spiritual relevance; and that's the challenge for the Church. The Church needs to respond to the realities and struggles that Christian marriages are facing today, not with condemnation, but with pastoral openness and understanding.  

Why do you think so many Catholics reject Church teaching on sex before marriage, contraception, and even divorce/remarriage?  

People want to live in peace with themselves and with God; even though many are alright knowing that does not always mean they will be at peace with their Church. I have found that many people have moved on from the Roman Catholic Church because they no longer felt that the man-made laws and restrictions that were presented as so important had very little to do with what God was asking of them as human beings. Some just stay and live frustrated lives, while others move on and find their peace.  

Can you describe a new vision for Christian marriage in the modern world that addresses many of the concerns now facing the Vatican? What is Christian marriage in 2014?  

I think Christian marriage in 2014 is probably the same as it always has been. God made us to love, to be faithful, and to bring about life. Yet, in our changing world, we must be able to deal with people in a more loving and understanding way—with a less dogmatic and/or rigid approach. I am not sure this vision is altogether new; I believe it is the vision of Jesus... "That they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10)  

Anything else?  

We need a more Gospel-centered Church vs a canon law obsessed Church.