Sarah Sealock on a Culture of Closeness

By: Sarah Sealock

March 30, 2011

The skyline of Qatar is perhaps one of the most beautiful and certainly the most recent in the world. Many of the students I have met in Qatar reminisce about the appearance of Doha before the new skyscrapers that now make up this modern city, many of which are less than five years old. This changed landscape reflects Qatar’s rapid economic growth, which has brought prosperity and expatriates from all over the world to work in this booming economy.

Despite all this change, Qatari values remain strong and the country remains very traditional in many ways. Many women wear very conservative clothing, whether they are in traditional dress or simply concealing modern wear. Some may refrain from shaking hands with male acquaintances or from having any physical contact with males not in their immediate family. Men often wear the traditional dress as well, a sign of their cultural and national pride. Generosity is warmly bestowed upon new students and feasts are laid out almost weekly, open to everyone, in keeping with traditional khaleeji (generosity).

While physical contact is kept to a minimum in this rather conservative state, my fellow students in Qatar are very close. The student body’s depth of knowledge about one another far exceeds what I know about those I would consider a part of my friend group in Washington, DC. There is a culture of closeness, and conversations revolve around topics more intimate than many of those in which I normally engage. On main campus I often find myself asking others, “How are you?” with no intention of waiting for a reply, or of beginning a conversation. In Qatar, this question becomes an invitation to actually discuss one’s day.

This more intimate approach to social interaction caused me to question my own norms. I realized that I often avoided conversations, politely expressing that I was simply too busy to chat. I considered my average conversation with fellow students on main campus, and realized that these interactions were often designed to avoid topics that might be uncomfortable or too intimate. Were my social norms a sign of a distant society?

My answer came in the form of minor irritations. I would find new friends bounding into my dorm room on a weekend morning without knocking or hunting me down in the library for a random chat. I soon realized that my priorities were simply a bit different. While I deeply value my privacy, my individuality, and my personal time, my new friends put a higher value on their society and spending time with their community. In this context very little information is private and all burdens, joys, and sorrows are shared, not suffered or enjoyed privately.

The differences between the culture of the Middle East and the West is a topic that has been widely discussed, but perhaps with too great of an emphasis on their differences. While there are times when I crave more privacy or find myself slightly uncomfortable with the topic of discussion, I appreciate the sense of community and social responsibility my fellow students share. This is not to say that privacy is not important in the Middle East or that Westerners are devoid of a communal spirit. Both cultures possess these values but simply manifest them in slightly different and interesting ways.

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