Tiare Dunlap on the Italian Family Structure

By: Tiare Dunlap

March 1, 2011

In my first Italian class, I read in our textbook that it is quite common for people to live at home well into their twenties. Given my level of comprehension I assumed I must have been misreading. However, as I looked up each word, in as simple language as it had been stated, I realized this was the truth. Viewing this concept through the lens of my own culture I was honestly a bit horrified. In my hometown 25 year-olds living with their parents are viewed as needing some sort of intervention (or a great idea for reality TV).

I imagined an army of overgrown man-children waiting for their parents to finish their laundry and fumbling in kitchens after having had too much to drink. This may very well be a reflection of my own overactive imagination more so than of an actual cultural prejudice, but I truly expected this situation to be symptomatic of the unwillingness to mature. When I arrived in Florence I looked at all the university students I met with a degree of skepticism, wondering what it was that had kept them from gaining the perspective afforded by a new environment and a life on their own.

And yet, when I finally viewed the situation firsthand, having dinner with an Italian family with students who lived at home, the whole situation seemed the most logical thing in the world. No matter how fresh the trials and tribulations of your early twenties are in your memory, you should remember they are an extremely challenging time. Different from the angst of your teens, the early twenties are a time when young people must make decisions that will determine the course of their lives. To spend this time saving money that would otherwise be spent on rent provides a cushion to pursue a career of passion rather than practicality or to pursue a more advanced degree.

In Italian families, parents witness their children’s transition into adulthood and thus treat them as such. Twenty-somethings living at home can hold jobs, help their parents raise younger siblings, and discuss the decisions that affect their lives most. While returning home from college in the United States can be a rather jarring experience as students struggle to transition from their life of independence and autonomy back into one of responsibility and collaboration, students living at home in Italy create their adult lives with the support of an existing home life. The relationships between parents and children grow as the children age, and they can share in mutual support and decision-making.

The Italian family structure is one of evolving support which gives sons and daughters an awareness of the lasting connection of family. While students in the United States feel imbued with responsibility over their own actions, those who live with their families have an acute awareness of the lasting responsibility to their families.

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