Finding out you are pregnant can be one of life's most joyous moments. It can also seem to spell the end of life and security. I vividly remember moments of both kinds, in my own life and those of friends. I cannot easily forget the desperation that led some friends to seek abortions, in shame and secrecy, knowing it was illegal and dangerous.
But the painful dilemmas my generation faced and those that confront people in the United States today pale in comparison to what poor women face. My daughter Laura lived for two years in a village in Guinea, serving in the Peace Corps. She was devastated as young girls left her class, often because they were pregnant. Some got married, but more were ostracized, their lives ruined. Girls from Laura's village disappeared and she learned that they died from illegal abortions. Why did they take such risks? Some answers seem fairly clear. There were large gaps in their understanding of their bodies. Social pressures were ferocious. Money was sometimes part of the story. But most often these girls saw no real future for themselves and felt they had no power over their own lives.
Another insight came this summer, in Morocco, where I was visiting a program supporting young unmarried mothers. In a focus group, some girls were silent, their faces grim, hostages of the violence that had led to their situation: raped, cast out by families, alone with a baby. But others spoke of love, clinging to the hope that their boyfriends truly loved them and would, against all odds, marry them. Meanwhile they faced the reality of supporting themselves and caring for a demanding baby. The romantic dreams of young girls persist across widely different cultures. This determined hope in the face of extraordinary obstacles was for me the most enduring impression.
We know the dark side of the "God gulf": angry crowds outside abortion clinics and doctors assassinated. The unseemly "gag rule" that has cut off funds to groups that do vital work.
The "God gulf" has added bitterness to what should be thoughtful planning for future HIV/AIDS work. Perhaps even more insidious, it introduces doubts into one of today's proudest achievements: the global consensus around human rights. The Universal Declaration is crystal clear in endorsing equality of women and men and freedom of expression. But nagging doubts about what that really means surface when family planning and women's empowerment are on the table.
But there are real glimmers of light. Alliances between very different groups, led by strong religious as well as non-religious people, achieved wonders on anti-trafficking legislation and action and on HIV and AIDS. And the work on the ground, in Cambodia, Guatemala, Guinea, Yemen, Iran, Burma and so on, by religiously inspired people and groups is breath-taking. It shows a true commitment to human life and dignity and a capacity for sustained and courageous engagement.
So we are seeing two promising signs. The first is the heightened attention to changing the picture for women and girls. A coalition that includes Oprah Winfrey, journalists, public servants, political leaders, concerned citizens and non-profit groups seems more determined than ever to act on such horrors as fistula, female genital cutting, maternal death, and girls enslaved in brothels. And more and more people understand that the answers lie above all in giving hope to young girls, through education, knowledge about their bodies, the chance to make a living, respect and love.
And the bitter "God gulf" disputes have sobered passionate people on both sides of the debates. There's much more talk of finding common ground in sensible areas like "responsible parenthood" (as Pope Benedict XVI wrote in his encyclical), spacing children so each one has more attention and care, and helping women through programs that put them on a path to a fulfilling life.
I want to believe that we are indeed ready to bridge the gulf because the causes at issue are so vital and so compelling. With so many challenges on the table, women's issues frequently get bumped down the priority stairs. It will take sustained focus to end most maternal deaths, make domestic violence unthinkable, and give girls the chance to act on their dreams.
